This Pride month has been bittersweet for Tennessee’s transgender community. While a state law restricting drag performances was struck down by a federal judge earlier this month, there are several more state laws taking effect at the end of the month that will further limit what trans Tennesseans can do.

And the state’s attorney general has obtained detailed medical records for trans patients at Vanderbilt as part of an investigation into the medical center’s gender-affirming care. It’s left many trans people wondering: Is it worth it to stay?

WPLN News spoke with trans activist and theologian Dr. Roberto Che Espinoza about his decision to leave the state.

Marianna Bacallao: State Republicans have been legislating against transgender rights for the past three years. What has that time been like for you?

Roberto Che Espinoza: Well, you know, like many people probably with whom you’ve spoken, it’s been a real existential threat to their flourishing. And personally, I’m at a crossroads of trying to figure out: Am I going to continue to have access to health care? Am I going to be able to go out for coffee? And over the past three years, I’ve seen a decline in both of those because of this existential threat.

Bacallao: What made you finally decide to leave?

Espinoza: Well, after being targeted six times last year, several times by Matt Walsh. You know, people who from the outside come in and disrupt what Tennessee has going on. And so Matt Walsh targeted me several times. Sean Feucht, the conservative worship leader, and then the Proud Boys. A week before my gender-affirming surgery, I really had to take a minute to figure out: Am I safe here? My partner embraced me and said, ‘I don’t know how much longer I have with you.’

Bacallao: We talked a little bit before the interview that you don’t really feel safe leaving the house. I know that even just coordinating for this interview, you have your notifications off because of the calls and texts that you receive.

Espinoza: Right, I don’t feel safe leaving the house. It’s not a way to live. No one should be living their life in, you know, a thousand square feet. People should be enjoying the beautiful nature of Tennessee, the rolling hills of Tennessee.

Bacallao: You were one of the patients at Vanderbilt University Medical Center that had your information turned over to the Tennessee attorney general. How did that notification make you feel?

Espinoza: I mean, it terrifies me. It wasn’t a subpoena, and Vanderbilt complied. Nothing good has ever come out of an entity creating a list of a demographic of people. The state legislature here in Tennessee is creating conditions for burning flesh, and that terrifies me.

Bacallao: What has the gender-affirming care you’ve received at Vanderbilt meant to you?

Espinoza: It allows me to live the life that I feel called to live. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about my own transition. I mean, I took years before I started transitioning. I developed the social support. I found, you know, a medical center that could support it. And now I feel like the rug has been ripped out from underneath me. It’s a real feeling of feeling bereft. There’s a lot of grief there.

Bacallao: What advice do you have for the people who can’t leave?

Espinoza: My advice is find your people, because when we nurture networks of care and networks of trust, we know that then not all possibilities are exhausted. And really, that’s the message of hope. You know, as a theologian and ethicist, I have to hang on to hope. And so right now, I am telling everyone we have to have hope for our people.

Bacallao: That was Dr. Roberto Che Espinoza. Thank you so much for being with us.

Espinoza: Thanks for allowing me.